Sunday, 15 May 2011

Letter from a wife 1: Learning Something New About Her Husband

My husband had been acting very odd for almost two months. He hadn't argued with me over anything. He had done virtually all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. without my even asking. He began giving me massages and steadily progressed to foot rubs. He even offered to give me a pedicure! I knew something was up, but I was completely clueless. My first suspicion was that he had cheated on me and was acting out his guilt. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just kept saying that he liked doing nice things for me. Needless to say, I didn't buy it.
I took to the internet and more or less discovered the existence of submissive husbands. It became apparent to me that he was expressing submissive desires. I tested my theory by writing up a "to do" list for him. I left it on his dresser on a Monday morning. By the end of the week he had finished everything on my list. This was not just some short list of quick tasks. This was a pretty lengthy list. He spent every night that week cleaning the basement, cleaning the garage, changing light bulbs, vacuuming out my car, you name it. This was in addition to all the laundry, cooking and other jobs that he had already made part of his routine.
As he checked tasks off the list, I made certain not to thank him. This was based on some advice I had read in an online forum. I told him that he had done a good job (he had, believe me!), but I never thanked him. When Friday night rolled around, I told (not asked, but told) him to go run me a bubble bath. I had him help me out of my clothes and into the tub. Then I had him go open a bottle of wine and bring me a glass. Then, before sending him off, I had him light some candles and turn on some music. I instructed him to go back out to the den and finish the bottle of wine himself. Maybe asking him to drink the wine was cheating a little bit, but I wanted to loosen him up as best I could. In any event, he obeyed every one of my commands to the letter.
I took my time enjoying my bath. I finally got myself out of the tub and dressed myself in some sexy panties and a short robe. I walked out in the den, turned off the television and took a seat on the couch. There was still some wine left in the bottle, so I had him pour me another glass as I needed a little loosening up myself.
At this point he actually asked me if there was anything he could do for me. His behavior along with the wine was inspiring me to new confidence. I told him that yes; there were some things I still had for him to do. To begin with, he could rub my feet. He first started to do this by sitting at the opposite end of the couch and putting my feet in his lap. I told him that I would prefer it if he would do it while kneeling on the floor. He took to this like it had been his life's dream. He looked so incredibly loving kneeling at my feet. For the first time, I felt empowered. I can't really explain why, but it made me feel so very close to him.
I told him that I was really pleased with the way that he had been acting lately. He had been so helpful to me. He had done a good job with the list that I had given him. In fact, it was such a good job that I was already working on another list. Then I asked him a series of questions, each of which was met by an enthusiastic "yes" from him. Did he like the way our relationship had been going lately? Did he like doing what I asked him to do? Did he like the way that I seemed to be in charge lately? Finally, I looked him straight in the eyes and asked him outright if he felt submissive towards me. This time he answered me with an emphatic, "Yes, I do." 
This, I think, was where my research really paid off for me. I understood that I had to seize upon this moment. I told him that I understand him completely. I was willing to accept my authority over him, but he must accept his submissiveness to me. Most of the time, our relationship will be just like it was, but when I desire to exert my control over him, I expect him to obey me. There are going to be times when that reality is going to frustrate him. There will be times when he disagrees with my decisions; that's ok. I want to hear his opinions. I will respect them and consider them in coming to my final decision. In the end, however, I am in charge. I know it, and he accepts it.
If I could give one piece of advice to other women it would be not to let all of these things go unsaid. Submissive men want their wives to formally acknowledge their authority in the relationship.

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